


God Must Be Crazy

by TheBlackLagoon



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Case Fic, I genuinely can’t remember anything about this fic beyond what I wrote, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Episode: s11e14 The Vessel, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Season 11
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:48:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29258481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBlackLagoon/pseuds/TheBlackLagoon
Summary: Dean and Sam investigate a "miracle" in the town of Walla Walla, Washington, where the entire populations water supply has been turned to wine. After several drunken murders, the boys delve deeper into what could possibly be causing this biblical occurrence, and find them selves teaming up with some friends from the past.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 5





	1. John 2:1-11 The Town Of Wine

**Author's Note:**

> Thought it was time I reposted my old Fanfiction.net work to here, so here is pure unedited 14 year old me in action.

It was 6:30 in the morning by the time Dean stumbled into the bunkers kitchen, messy hair and all. Sam, (as per-freaking usual) was already up, and by the look of it had been up for awhile. Laptop out and an empty bowl of cereal at his side.

"Morning princess," Sam said without glancing up, and Dean could just hear the shit eating grin in his voice.

"You know, 6 in the morning is early for a lot of normal people," he grumbled, shuffling over to the counter where the, empty, coffee machine was.

"Add that to list of non-normal things we do. Maybe right below hunting monsters for a living," Sam snarked, looking over his shoulder at Dean, who had just now realized his brother had finished the rest of their coffee supply.

"Dammit' Sam, how much fuckin' coffee do you need? I swear this whole bag was filled yesterday," he sighed, dragging a hand down his face. He could see Sam rolling his eyes and moving back to the computer.

"I went out and got more. I left the shopping bag in the map room," Sam motioned towards the direction of the map room, then continued to scroll.

"God you're fucking lazy sometimes, you know that," Dean growled, and stalked out of the kitchen grumbling incoherently. The bag of coffee, along with a six pack of beer was laying on a table near the entrance to their home.

"A few more feet and he would'a been in the kitchen," he muttered grabbing a beer and one of the coffee bags. A moment later he found his way back to the kitchen, and with a cup of spiked coffee in his hand. He felt a little more civil.

"So, anything on...Lucifer?" He paused, glancing down at his coffee mug. Sam's eyes flited up, and Dean tried his best to ignore the amount of pity he could see there. Sam looked back back down with a slight cough, and shook his head, continuing to look at his screen.

"Nothing on Amara either, as far as I can tell. Ever since, the whole...Angel "smiting" thing, she's been off the map," he adds a moment later, scratching the back of his head in worry.

"Well good, one less evil son of bitch to deal with for the moment," Dean muttered this with an air of resigned confidence he didn't have. Amara was still out there, and she was still very much a danger to the fate of the world. But he wouldn't be a Winchester if didn't hide his fears on the subject.

"Right, yeah," Sam muttered, with a slight frown.

They sat in silence for awhile, the morning the least eventful thing in a while for both of them. Sam kept sneaking sips from his brothers cup, Dean ignored it, under the pretense he just wasn't awake enough to complain. This all continued until Sam made his discovery.

"Wait Dean, check this out," Sam perked up, turning his computer around to show Dean. Dean frowned and taking the computer.

"Uh, the population of Walla Walla...who the hell names a town Walla Walla?" Dean looked up with a raised eyebrow, and Sam gave him a frown in return.

"Just read it," Dean rolled his eyes and continued to scroll through the article. They were silent again for a few moments.

"No way...no way, this is- this is great... I mean not exactly great for them, but still, the whole town's water system turned to wine?" Dean asked for confirmation.

"Looks like, happened nearly a week ago, uh 'Tracey Newgun head of the water sanitation department says people called with several reports throughout town last Tuesday night, that their baths and showers were...wine, instead of water'," Sam read, turning his computer back around.

"You thinking Angels?" Dean asked, taking a final gulp of his coffee.

"Uh no, Amara actually. She's been trying to get God's attention right?" Dean nodded.

"Well it would be an ironic twist if she was the one to turn water to wine, you know while still causing chaos. I mean, what I'm getting from the article, the hospital has been full of people with alcohol poisoning, they've had to get several donations from other towns for water, and there are drunk people causing problems all over town," Sam finished.

"Makes sense...It's like a big 'Fuck you' to God," Dean said, with a curved smile.

"Exactly, which is what Amara's been going for in the past. Though I don't know what exactly she thinks she's going to accomplish. If God hasn't shown his face by now, after all the massacres she's caused, why now? I mean, you'd think a cosmic being would be a little smarter,"

"Well the best way to figure that out is to get going. When should you be ready to go" Dean questioned, standing up. Sam shrugged.

"Give me 5 minutes,"

"Great, I've always wanted to go on a wine tour."


	2. Genesis 9:21 The Drunk Prophet

The drive to Walla Walla was an uninteresting one. Mostly. Between the long hours and crap food, it was the same routine Dean had lived in for most of his life. Of course it was just a lot more open time to think about things. Things such as, the ever impending doom of the world. The fact some psycho creature from before the creation of the universe wanted him as her boy toy. Oh, and Lucifer was wearing his best friend as a meat suit, which if he really did think about it, didn't make any fucking sense.

Of course the universe in Dean's life didn't usually give a rats ass about things making sense. It all went the other way around most of the time. Mostly he and Sam had tried to keep from thinking too hard about the other more larger, crappier things by taking miscellaneous cases close to the bunker. But there was always that inbetween time to think, and most of the time it led Dean into some depressing shit. **  
**

"So plan?" Dean asked, gripping the Impalas steering wheel tightly. Sam frowned, but continued staring steadfastly forward.

"We're water sanitation from College Place, it's one of the neighboring towns," Sam answered, pushing a wisp of his hair aside.

"Great," he said glancing over at his brother, who continued to keep his eyes averted.

"Is there something you'd like to share Samantha?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow in his brother's direction.

"I don't know Dean, it's just...I don't know. Something about this case. It seems, off," Sam shrugged his shoulders, a frown creasing his brow. Dean huffed out a small laugh. _Everything felt off lately_ he thought.

"Sam, your the one who picked the case, anyway it's probably some crazy Californians who decided to spike the water," Dean said, which didn't seem to help Sam's mood.

"Or Amara, or Lucifer, or any of the several dozen things out there that want people dead," Sam muttered, leaning his head against the Impala's window.

"Nice job being optimistic there buddy," Dean said, smirking. Sam just rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm sure it's fine, just like you said, crazy Californians," Sam murmured.

It took an hour more for them to reach Walla Walla, and ton more gripping on Dean's part about having to drive the entire way without stopping. Sam had been somewhat adamant about reaching the town as soon as possible, still holding onto the firm belief something was up. Which honestly, Dean knew meant something was up, but he wasn't going to let his brother know that, at least not yet.

They reached the water sanitation department by mid afternoon, both feeling rather cramped and tired, but ready to get to work. Once inside they were greeted by Emily, the smiley brunette, with a nice rack, which Dean pointed out once they were directed down a long hallway. Sam the fucking prude, rolled his eyes in avid disgust, and Dean just gave him a lopsided grin.

"Okay, we're here under the pretense that we'll be looking at the pipes," Sam said checking each door number as they slowly made their way down another hallway.

"So we're like, glorified plumbers?" Dean asked raising an eyebrow.

"Everyone has a job Dean, doesn't mean they all have to be as glamorous as fighting monsters," Sam sighed.

"Yeah, I was definitely thinking about how glamorous our job is as I washed vampire blood off, like, everywhere last Wednesday. And I mean everywhere Sammy-"

"You don't-have to go into detail," Sam muttered, pausing in front of the door marked " _Tracey Newgun"_

"I'm really glad you guys could make it. And all the way from College Place," Tracey smiled, taking a seat, holding out her hand to shake. Both the boys took it, before sitting as well.

"I swear, this town's gone to hell since the media caught hold of the news. I've had reporters coming in and out of here all day, it's enough to make a woman go mad," she laughed quietly, and the boys shifted uncomfortably in their chairs.

"Well, we're glad to be of service Mrs. Newgun. Now, your report said the water became...wine on Tuesday night last week, this is correct?" Sam asked leaning forward a bit.

"That would be right yes. But the water didn't just become wine Mr. Farthington, I mean-it couldn't have. We're guessing there must have been some leakage from one of the winery's around here," she was nervously shuffling papers on her desk as she said this. She didn't have any idea what could have caused this.

"I'm sure you're right, there are a lot of wineries in the area anyway," Dean said smiling, and Tracey stopped shuffling papers.

"Yes, yes there is. I'm just hoping someone will come forward to pay for the damages. We have families in this town with kids and no water to drink," Tracey sighed, running a hand through her bleach blond hair.

"We'll do our best to find the problem for you Mrs. Newgun. Now, is there any place where you think the contamination started. Any ideas at all?" Sam asked leaning forward.

"Well there is-" suddenly the door to the office is thrown open, and rather disgruntled man stormed into the office.

"Tracey! Tracey they're after me!" he barked, shoving past the brothers, grappling for Tracy over the desk. Both Dean and Sam stood quickly as Emily rushed in spewing apologies. Tracey just walked around the desk trying to sooth the still yelling man.

"Who's after you Hal? What's wrong?" She asked raising her hands up in a defensive state. Hal just shook his head, glancing nervously around the room. Dean noticed Hal's pupils were dilated.

"I don't- they're coming. I gotta get outa town Tracey. You gotta help me get outta town," Hal muttered backing up as Sam reached for the gun tucked into the back of suit pants. Tracey glanced at Dean fear evident in her gaze.

"Who's coming for you Hal?" She asked shakily.

"The Archangel. The Archangel Gabriel."


	3. Luke 1:19 The Archangel Gabriel

"I am so sorry about all that. The last few days have been hard on Hal," Tracey said smoothing her rumpled skirt as she sat back down. Emily had been able to drag Hal out of the office with the help of two other security guards who had rushed to the scene. Though Hal's words had not yet left the two brothers. Sam made a pointed glance at Dean, and he nodded.

"What's happened to Hal?" Dean asked, sitting down as well, leaning forward to listen. Sam followed suit. Tracey looked nervous for a moment, then she sighed, placing her head in her hands.

"He's my husband- or Ex husband. He, he had a severe drinking problem while we were married. It obviously didn't work out between us. But he couldn't handle our separation so he promised himself he'd get better, he promised me he would, and he really had been, but since last Tuesday-"

"It got bad again," Sam finished, his features softening in sympathy. Next to him Dean's eyes narrowed.

"Mrs. Newgun, is Hal by any chance a mean drunk? Someone who can get on other people's nerves easily, enough so that-"

"That they'd poison the water system of an entire town? Mr. Panozzo, my ex husband was no one's favorite person, but we're a very tight nit community, no one would ever think to put its residents in danger for- for petty revenge. Now, that's enough of that, we've gotten sidetracked from the main goal of fixing the water system. I'll have Emily get you two a car to the watershed," Mrs. Newgun stood, her features sharp, as she walked out of the room.

The brothers sat for a moment in silence. Until Sam spoke up, very obviously in turmoil about what they had discovered.

"Gabriel. He can't be-"

"Alive I know, I know- but"

"Why else would he have-"

"We should get going."

"Definitely."

The two left the office in a hurry bypassing the front desk and heading out the back door. In no time they were checking into the "Star Spangled Motel", which made Dean horribly aware that Red, White and Blue were his least favorite colors.

"This place looks like Uncle Sam threw up, _everywhere_. Are there any other colors except the three?" Dean asked in disgust as he sat down on the American flag comforter. Sam chuckled, and threw his stuff near the bathroom.

"Better than the 'Hillbilly Ranch Motel'," he said sitting down on the opposite bed. Dean rolled his eyes, and chucked off his shoes, grabbing for the T.V remote that Sam promptly smacked out of his hand.

"Dude, there are more pressing matters right now than Dr. Sexy," Sam said, placing the remote on top of the dresser. Far away from Dean.

"I _know_ , can't a guy just relax? Anyway Dr. Sexy _M.D_ is on later," Dean muttered, giving his full attention to Sam who had taken a seat once again. Sam sighed and picked up his laptop which he'd grabbed on the way from the remote.

"So, it seems obvious now we're not dealing with Amara. Or Lucifer for that matter, but I still can't believe that Gabe's actually… alive. I mean, he told us himself he was dead," Sam paused for a moment realizing what he'd said and shook his head. The two sat in silence for a few moments, before Dean perked up.

"Yeah, but we never saw the body did we? I mean he's a trickster, for all we know he ditched before Lucifer could kill him," He said, looking at his brother with raised eyebrows. Sam frowned, and glanced down at his laptop.

"But to all the trouble he went through, I don't know Dean. I feel like he really turned around there in the end," Sam sighed, closing his laptop in defeat.

"Well it's the best lead we've got here. Tracey was right though, this thing threw us off track, these people need our help. More tourists and reporters will continue to crowd the city, others who live here will have to leave. We have to find a way to get the water back. And if Gabriel is our only lead, we follow it," Dean said, looking across at his brother determinedly. Sam sighed, rubbing at the base of his temples, and reopened his laptop and started researching.

By the end of the night both of brothers were pretty done with the town of Walla Walla, which appeared to be the most boring place on earth. Except for maybe a few deaths back in the late 70's that could have been a couple of scouting vampires, no other unusual or supernatural occurrences had popped up. The town was really only known for it's failed attempts at being considered wine country, ironic considering the state of things now.

"All I'm getting are promotional brochures and shit, there's nothing here except the wine water ordeal that even slightly points into our line of work," Dean griped shoving the laptop away. Sam sighed, holding his head in his hands.

"Yeah, I know, I know. Look let's just get some sleep. We'll get a look at the Mill Creek watershed in the morning, then stop by Hal's place, and if we don't find anything then-"

"We'll leave it to the locals to deal with," Dean muttered running a hand down his face in frustration. Sam took a long intake of breath, and rubbed his neck.

"I know it sucks, Dean, but there's only so much we can do when it's something like water to wine. I mean if Gabriel doesn't show, or something else pops up, well let's face it, this isn't a case we can really handle," Sam said, picking up his laptop from Dean's bed, and placing it back in it's case.

"I just wish there was something-"

"Dean I know you're worried about Cas, but he's tough, he's been in much worse situations," Sam turned back to Dean, his eyes wide in sympathy, and Dean just sighed closed his eyes and leaned back onto the red, white and blue striped pillows.

"Let's just, get some rest, okay?"


	4. Job 4:13-16 Troubling Dreams

"If it's really that important to you I'll try it, but I can assure you, the taste will be lost on me," Cas sighed glancing at the piece of pizza, oozing grease on the paper plate in front of him. Dean laughed, and took another slice for himself, chewing and swallowing in three bites. Cas watched with something close to horror, but grabbed a hold of his piece none the less.

Dean grinned when Cas let out a _hmm_ of satisfaction, and put down the third slice he'd been about to eat to watch as the Angel devoured the rest of his pepperoni pizza.

" _Lost on you_ my ass, how'd you like it?" Dean asked, holding out a napkin to Cas, who took it without hesitation.

"It was… interesting," Cas finally said after cleaning his greasy hands with the napkin. Dean chuckled, shaking his head. _Typical._

"Oh please, you're making me sick, and you know how big a sweet tooth I have Dean-O," Dean whipped around in surprise, eyes falling upon none other than the Archangel Gabriel himself. He stood from his seat in surprise, grabbing at his waistband for a gun that wasn't there, when Gabriel disappeared and his voice sounded from the other side of the room.

"Really, that's how you greet an old friend? I'm hurt, truly Dean," Gabe admonished, placing a hand over his heart in mocking. Dean glared, then noticed the other change in the room.

"Where's Cas, you douchebag?" Dean growled, taking a menacing step forward.

"Oh, you mean that poor imitation, _dream_ Cas? Somewhere galavanting through your subconscious I'm sure," Gabe rolled his eyes, and picked up a brochure from the motel room coffee table.

"He was-" Dean paused, slowly coming to realize the dream world he'd created. Gabriel glanced over, his shoulders shrugging.

"Don't look so down in the dumps, _real_ Cas is fine, _at the moment_. But that's not important right now, what's important, is that you find where I am, and get me out of this town," Gabe muttered through clenched teeth, throwing the brochure back down on the table.

"What are you talking about, are you trapped here? Where? And what's going to happen to Cas?" Dean barraded him, questions zooming out half formed. Gabriel raised his hand, and Dean stopped.

"I can't just _tell_ you where I am, you know it's never that simple, but I can tell you I'm being held captive, by an old friend of mine, he's the reason there's wine with the water. _Not_ because of me. Hal may have gotten the wrong idea after I threatened him," Gabe said with a sigh, falling down onto the pinstriped couch behind him.

"Threatened him?" Dean asked, with a frown, and Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"Yes threatened, he was making deals with my- "friend". I knew it'd cause problems eventually, so I tried to intervene. Now I'm stuck here. It's what I get for trying to be a good guy," Gabe shrugged, pulling a Twix from his jacket pocket, ripping the wrapper off in one fail swoop.

"How are you even alive?" Dean asked, throwing his hands up in agitation, not really expecting a straight answer. Gabriel sighed, and took a bite of his candy bar.

"God needed an errand boy, Dean-O, and Michael's trapped in the cage, so here I am," Gabe muttered, motioning towards himself.

"God? Like the true big guy in the sky. _God_ actually brought you back?" Dean asked in disbelief. Gabriel sighed and finished his candy bar.

"Ye of so little faith Dean. Listen, my time's nearly up here. Tell Sam I said hi, I've really missed the big guy," Gabe said, standing from his seat, heading for the door.

"Gabe, what's gonna happen to Cas?" Dean asked, in a last desperate attempt to glean information. Gabriel paused in the doorway.

"A whole lotta Hell, Dean-O."

Dean woke with a start, his limbs tangled in star spangled sheets, sweat gluing his shirt to his back.


End file.
